And besides, you're not the only one and it isn't that bad.

One of my favorite quotes for the past ten years.  People usually hate it when you say it to them especially if they are complaining about something which to them appears to be a big deal.  And it really isn't.  Because honestly most things we complain about aren't.  And it's almost certain you aren't the only person going through it.

  Turns out I'm not the only one deeply touched by Willow Smith's anthem to the youth...which according to my 11-13 year old sources "has been out for at least 6 months". 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhFh-JqQuMg

It's seriously hilarious.  Best part I was watching it at work with my co-workers and this is how the conversation went:

CoWorker 1:  Now Jimmy Fallon is doing a good Neil Young but he doesn't really look like him.  The face is all wrong.  But that guy is doing an awesome Bruce.

CoWorker 2: Yeah, I don't know who he got to play the Boss but he sounds just like him. 

  Yes folks, IT IS Bruce Springsteen.  FYI: spell check just dinged me when I accidentally left the G out of his name.  I thought last names weren't in spell check.  Mine always gets the red squiggly line.  I guess when you get to a certain level of fame the enter your name in the spell check database.  On that line of thought, is there a spell check database?  Each year new words are supposedly entered in the dictionary.  Or each time they do a reprint of Ye Ole Websters or American Heritage or dictionary.com.  I wonder.  Is spell check a computer program or is it actual people?  I bet there is a Google (which has the red squiggly line until I capitalized that G)  article about spell check somewhere.

  The idea we're tackling this week is SELF IMPORTANCE.  Yes you are great!  Yes you are important!  Some people take it way too far.  Myself included (at times).  I take issue with Katy Perry.  And not just because she spells our name with a Y.  I just watched her video "Firework" on my sisters tumblr page.  The message is in the right place but the fireworks shooting from her breasts really held my focus.  This is what teens watch.  And they are an influential group, in advertising, in media, (which are basically the same thing to me at this point) in fashion (check out that little chick who has a fashion blog, Tavi Gevinson) and one thing many teens subscribe to is SELF IMPORTANCE.  You are a firework! You must spread your light and shine forth.  Do the right thing!  But do it in your best interest and for the good of the people??  These are complicated messages.  But they go out to teens everyday.  It's a bit of a superficial dip into a much larger issue but the point of my blog is not to answer your questions.  It's to make you think about things.
  I started this blog thinking about the dating world.  And it's been a year.  Since then a lot has changed on my blog.  I found the cyber dating world to be a simultaneously scary and funny place.  Lately I've been thinking about setting up more dates just for the stories.  Now I think the blog needs to be a vehicle for people to know all the important things I think in my head!  And besides, I'm not the only one and truly it isn't that bad!!  

Whip MY hair...

When I was in college or just recently graduated the song 'Too Little, Too Late' was  all over the airwaves.  It was a song by JoJo who I think was maybe 12...possibly 13.  But seriously readers, her lyrics spoke to me and many other women much much older than 13.  Now we have a new selection by a delightful tween who sums it up pretty good.  "Don't let haters keep me off my grind.  Keep my head up I know I'll be fine.  Keep fighting until I get there.  When I'm down and I feel like giving up I think again"
  Truth: Wisdom comes at any age.  Second truth:  The way people behave in middle school (the tween age) is just a base line for how they will behave for the rest of their life.  I'm really starting to believe that second truth.  Not to say that people can't change.  They absolutely can but it's difficult and most people prefer to remain in their comfort zone.

  Speaking of comfort zones, I recently attended a concert that did EVERYTHING IN IT'S POWER to transcend people's comfort zones.  Far far away from the world of Willow Smith (which I'm just realizing is a bizarre name play on her father's name) exists Of Montreal.  A great band I definitely recommend checking out but definitely not for the conservative minded or faint hearted.  The lead man, Kevin Barnes, is an according to my brother a straight man.  I'd like to add with homosexual tendencies even though after this show I think he might just be done to experience whatever life brings.  Here are some photos: 

The beginning...

I think this when the Sunshine people came out.

Gold body suits are totally rad and I think I helped them make those sun heads in my classroom on Friday.

Janelle Monae is BOSS!!

Sometimes you just gotta ride away on your people rhino.

When it was all said and done I was entertained, heard good music, but also felt as if I had attended a higher budget GSP theater show.  (I have no idea if any of my readers know what GSP theater is, it's the low-budget theater group I was involved with in college).  Even at NYU there had to be a band of drama misfits that didn't apply to Tisch and couldn't even get accepted to the College of Arts and Sciences until Junior year...but I digress.

 The show was so bizarro out there I thought: "This must be what doing acid is like."  Because truth 3: I've never done acid.  But I imagine Kevin Barnes has and that is when he created this show.  The overall goal was to make people a little uncomfortable.   I whip my hair at people who can't transcend their comfort zone.  Does that mean that I'm comfortable making other people uncomfortable?  I guess I need to start behaving very normal in order to make myself take things to the next level.  Ok Haterzz here I go....

  

Obviously you are not a blogger...

Ok, so RE my last post.  I thought I had published it on my furlough day...hence my cute little title and my promises of more posts!  Then, I started giving my sister crap (in my head) about how she hadn't posted anything new on her "I'm studying abroad" travel blog.  But I went there today and found A HA! She had updated.  Which caused me to think.  Go update your blog, hypocrite.  At which point I realized...duhh you didn't publish your last post.  So lost, so lost in this interweb that is supposedly dead.

Moving on.  I'm not so great a blogging.  I'm really trying folks.  I must win this battle.    

                      Like the ocean triumphs over the land

I've gotten really into using visual supports with my students this year.  Literally I support them....with my eyes.  No.  Usually if we're reading a story, or creating a classroom rule I try to create a picture that helps illustrate whatever is written.  I have no gift for the visual arts.  I think I've mastered through the level of stick figure.  So I end up spending a lot of time of google image search.  And it is amazing.  For example, when I type in the word solemn many things pop up.  A sad faced homeless woman.  People marching at a funeral.  Other serious things.  But there are some words that my students don't know that aren't easily defined by pictures.  For example, avoid, I get a bunch of pictures that look like this: 
  
 
 
Students you must AVOID the white man....actually, that might not be bad advice.  But I digress, so I'm getting really into google image search and I have a pet turtle named Squishy.  Two completely unrelated things, I know.  Squishy is my class pet.  I don't have an actual photo of him but he looks a little like this:

 

But he's also much bigger.  Last week I decided he was having neck problems.  Trust me readers, his neck looked weird.  So I decided to google image search, "Red ear slider necks".  I don't know why but I did.  And then I got caught by my student.  He said, "Why are you looking up pictures of 'turtle necks'?"  He suggested I type in "fat neck" I don't know why I listened to him.  Safe to say fair readers, maybe you should google image search fat neck.  It's bizarre.  And on that note, I'm off.

There are bigger fish to fry and flag football games to supervise.  A la prochaine! 

Furlough or not to...lough

Here in the California the economy is not good.  Maybe you've heard about it.  Though I'm starting to think nobody knows about anything.  Including myself.  So maybe you don't.  But as a result of the state having almost no money...this year they made teachers take 3 furlough days...well maybe that's just in my school district as a way to save money.  I think so.  Hello internet obviously I know nothing!

  I have the day off.  That's all I'm trying to say.  And I'm not getting paid for it.  I got it in my head that since I'm not making any money today then I shouldn't spend any.  Unfortunately as with most rules I make for myself I broke it.  That paragraph has a lot of I's.

It's the 6th week of school and things are finally starting to feel normal again.  Each day it gets harder and harder to get out of bed on time and I find the students less annoying and the faculty more funny than anything else.  Being over it has never felt so good.

Things get faster as we get older

So, a summer in review, mainly based on a loose time line I have created.  My summer falls into four sections.  I find it appropriate to give each section two names.

Summer of 2010 Part I: Summer School i.e. Having a excuse to wake up for World Cup games.
   The World Cup came and went.  And as with every four years, it was awesome!  I was really rooting for North Korea but mostly I wanted to see a team that has never won before win.  So that happened and it was awesome.  Total feel good moment!  Favorite two parts of the Cup:  France's team (Mais qu'est-ce qui passe?) and the sports anchors 30 second pitch for South America as the final word of the cup.  Heartfelt, unedited and raw!  And summer school was a mild distraction during the cup.  It was good though.  The kids were super special and totally awesome.

Summer of 2010 Part II: Dog Sitting i.e. Deciding to move
   Next stop on the Stay part of my vacation was dog sitting for my friend.  Her dog is my best bud and we spent quality time walking around her neighborhood, getting lost, and barking at the mailman.  Well she barked and I egged her on.  I spent about three weeks living in Oakland and basically decided I 100% needed to move.  I already had thought this would be a good idea but I began to realize how to make my plan take action.  So I went to look at a bunch of apartments.  Hated them all.  Started to feel overwhelmed.  Then, changed my plan of action.

Summer of 2010 Part III: Moving Day i.e. It ain't life if there isn't a time crunch
  After giving up on finding an apartment through craigs list I returned to the old fashioned way.  Pounding pavement.  Or really driving around different neighborhoods and writing down the phone number for any available apartment.  It worked amazingly well!  Found a place in about 2 days.  Realized I had to give my 30 day notice about 28 days too late.  Threw some cash into the wind and moved all my shit.  With the help of three all star friends!  Then decided, "Hey! I'm going to Boston two days after I move".  Why not? Right.  Right.

Which brings us to.......wait for it......
Summer of 2010 Part IV: The joys of home i.e.  It's been a month this has been sitting in my edit box clearly I don't value blogging.
  That's right folks.  Summer is OVER.  That's O (oh) V (vee) E (eeeee)  R (arrrrgh).  I did go to see Arcade Fire last night.  That was fun.  And this is the only way I can figure out how to post the video so my sister can see.

I'm back folks.   The blog begins again and again and again and again...BUT THIS TIME FOR REAL!!!!

 

Blogiphany: It's like an epiphany you have with your blog.

OH EM GEE WHY GEE.  I am the worst blog hypocrite on the face of the planet.  All I can keep thinking is how I am supposed to get a book deal or a TV show if I don't update my blog.  Now probably in order to get those things I need to be less obvious but...that's just not my strong suit.

But I digress....fans, online dating and blogging has proved more difficult than I thought.  For many reasons that I will over time disclose..it's not you, blog.  It's me.   Yesterday as I drove to a particularly special encounter my thoughts wandered, as they often do, to my list of things to-do.  Top of my list is always, update the blog.  But I never do it.  Maybe I'm disappointed because my dates, while funny, have been simultaneously depressing.  Maybe it's because I'm lazy.  Or maybe it's because my internet hasn't been working for a months and months.  Excuses fans!  And it shall stand no more.

Plus on top of that my friend recently emailed ANOTHER online dating blog.  Written in a similar style to mine!! 

And here we find ourselves again.  I've been bad.  There have been dates fans.  Online dates.  Dates that occurred in the real world but began online. And I did not write about them.   As a recent online dating commercial informed me....1 out of every 5 dates starts out online.  I looked up some other 1 in 5 statistics...just to you know, compare. 1 in 5 pregnancies end in abortion...literally that's the first thing that came up in google AND bing.  1 in 5 Americans has genital herpes.  Equally uplifting.  Oh here we go. 1 in 5 people in our world don't have access to clean water.  Well thanks internet search engine for lifting my spirits.  Whatever, that commercial makes no sense anyway how could they possibly figure out how many dates a person has been on in the first place?

So there has been a choo choo train of special gentleman callers over the past few months.  Some were such a let down that it isn't even worth writing about.  Some got a little too x-rated too fast.  Some were so G-rated I had to sneak away.  Best moment was explaining to a guy that Flag day made me feel a little homesick so I'd have to take a rain check.  Most important fact is that none have stuck.  So...what do I do when life is getting me lonely? Go downtown. Or find something else to write about.  I've learned recently that living so far away from most of the people I know and love has led to some pretty interesting situations.  I will be writing about them here.  Trying to maintain my connection to the online dating world.  Trying to keep things cyber.  I'll be posting updates to my facebook page but I'm seriously considering deleting facebook and changing to some other internet home.  But fear not readers.  I'm on vacation and frankly, I need a hobby.

Until next time (which I promise will be very soon).    

Strikes and Gutters

Interestingly...I've been bowling twice in the past month.  Something I hadn't done for about 10 years.  My first time back in the lanes I bowled miserably...maybe my score broke 45. LAME!  On my second attempt (at a friend's birthday party) I was slightly improved and it got me thinking...Online dating is something that can happen in drips and drabs.  Good dates and bad.  Since my last foray into the scene I've been laying a little low.  For whatever reason I was letting my hilarious but often fruitless dates get me down.  But I learned a lesson.  When you don't do something for a long time that you already weren't very good at you ultimately get worse.  Obvious yes.  But think about it.  We often shy away from things we don't like or feel overwhelmed by.  Especially as adults when people aren't forcing us to do and try new things.  We often don't. 

That being said, online dating can be a self esteem killer.  There is a high level of weirdO's and several dates end after one or two.  I had a co-worker once who said, it's a numbers game.  If you throw your line out enough times, you will eventually get a fish.  But since I'm not even good at updating my blog about online dating that is supposed to be getting me a book deal then....snap, where am I?

So fans, there you have it.  A recommittment of sorts.  To the blog and online dating and well...life.  I'm sitting here watching my students take standardized tests.  Most of them finish in 15 minutes even though the test should take them about an hour.  Are they overwhelmed?  Do they just not get it?  Have they given up on themselves at the ripe age of 13?  All of those questions kind of scare me.  But how can I expect them to trust themselves.  When I have trouble doing it myself. 

The next date which I believe is number 10 is on Friday.  I will blog about it.  Fear not fans!!  The online dating continues....until keep reading.  And harrass me when I don't update.

Love

Middle school moments

Some people say high school is the best time of your life.  Other people say college is the best, you'll never have a better time in your life.  And some believe that in your early to mid twenties that's when stuff gets really good.  Lately people have been telling me that 30 is when things get awesome because you just stop caring.  One thing everyone seems to agree on...middle school is not the best time.  In fact, I think people could agree that middle school is the most awkward phase full of regrets and bad attitudes.  Middle school relationships usually last a matter of weeks and physical contact is minimal.  Until you hit about late 7th early 8th grade.  That's when things get steamy.  Well...middle school steamy.  Hand holding, hot make out sessions, boobie groping, and my personal favorite heavy petting.  But what fans is the hallmark of middle school romance.  The one thing that is really only cool in middle school and is never cool again.  The hickey.  Even the word makes me twitch a little.  Now ok, hickeys are kind of hot, in a sensual way, akin to snuggling and the erogenous zones.  But what remains! What remains is what makes the hickey a frightening thing.  You basically have a bruise on your neck.  Since most people don't have bruises on their neck you're always totally busted for having a hickey.  For at least two weeks of those middle school years having a hickey is like this grown up cool thing to have.  Mostly cause it means some one actually touched you in a romantic way!  Oh the thrill.  As you get older the thrill fades and probably as you become more advance in the ways of romance...hickeys lose their allure and become just the second part...embarrassing. 
And segue to DATE 7!  because obviously this date has had me thinking about hickeys.  I met up with Date 7 at my house.  I've been poor lately, already had beers at my house and sheesh I didn't think he would cut me up into 1000000 pieces.  In fact, fans, in my head I am totally convinced I would be able to fend off any kind of online date attacker.  Realistically I know this NOT true. But, I digress...Date 7 came over after work.  He was a nice guy, real dudes dude.  Likes include: MMA (???), playing poker with his buds, smoking lots of weed, going to napa.  We chatted it up talked about work drank a few beers and had enough in common to start smooching.  Now I guess I would count it under a "hot make out sesh" there was lite-medium petting.  But after a little bit of that we talked some more and called it a night.  I figured all said in done Date 7 was a semi success. 
The next day I'm at my job which happens to be at a middle school.  I usually wear a scarf to work just to juge up my outfit and so I look more professional, or I'm secretly a man and love wearing ties.   One of those.  I'm standing in class and one of my students says, "Why do you wear a scarf everyday?"  Feeling slightly flattered that my student even noticed what I'm wearing, I give some bullshit response about how my neck get cold easily.  They don't say anything after that I assume it's just my students trying to get me off task.  About an hour later I'm walking across campus and I stop to talk to one of my co-workers.  We're talking about one of my specials who is failing her class when mid sentence she points to my neck and exclaims, "Katie YOU HAVE A HICKEY!" My response: "No I don't." But fans, oh yes I did.  Why didn't I notice it before?  I have no idea.  I guess it has something to do with getting dressed in the dark every morning.  Now it wasn't a bad hickey but it was still a hickey.  And of course, now I knew why my students were asking about my scarf.  I wore turtle necks for the rest of the week and felt like the 13-year-olds that surround me.  When I emailed him to say,  WHY? Why the hickey in a public place on ma body?  His response: "I didn't even think I was sucking for that long." 
Wow, ok, thanks date 7.--You left your mark on me, and outed me to my students.--The only thing I had to go on was the hope that my hickey would still seem cool to the middle school that lives somewhere inside.  So far it isn't working....Ah well back to the dating game I go! 

Fans, I will try to stick to a update every Wednesday schedule.  Of course that means at least a date a week but I think spring fever has enough of a grip on me to sustain for a while.  A la prochain!

...and start getting REAL.

Hello fans! Welcome to my new interweb space. If you have been following my posts I apologize for the drop off in the winter months. I was hibernating. For new fans Welcome, please read and continue to read my extra special blog! So I posted my previous entries which you can peruse through AND I promise this blog will start to look a little less generic. I just need to find the time. But I don't want to disappoint the fans! Date 6: So the real date 6 took place at a super bowl party but since it was a group activity I will only count it as Date 5 1/2! So the real date 6 was last Friday. My newest male friend lives a little further away so we decided to meet at a midpoint so neither one of us was put out too much. Cool. There was a lot of texting building up to this date. It was romantic, sort of cheesy but definitely heartfelt. Texts like: "Hey beautiful, how was your day?" or "What are you thinking about? Hopefully me" --Still not sure how to respond to that second text. Which reminds me, Male followers, especially straight ones, I need your response and comments to what I post. I am stuck with this female brain and all my female friends that I seek advice from have female brains. So yes, calling all male brains! But I digress.

Ok, I've never had a problem with stage fright. I'm lucky that way. I get up in front of a group of people, say my piece and sit back down. In fact, surprise surprise, I LIKE getting up in front of people. Still, even I have my nervous moments. Let's call it performance anxiety and especially when you let something build up in your head. The once easy feat of getting up speaking in front of a group is totally lost. Do you see where this is heading? No, ok.
It's Friday night, I've gone back and forth about whether date 6 is worth it. I'm committed to my experiment but sometimes all these random dates give me clammy nervous hands! Date 6 texts me saying he's in the area of the restaurant and he's wondering if I'm going to "stay for dessert". I interpret this as some kind of smooching or fooling around after our official date of dinner and drinks. I respond coyly by saying, "I have to go home at the end of the night". Then I decide that was too cold so I send another text saying, "But maybe I could be convinced to try some dessert". Attempting to keep up with the cute text exchange. There were a few texts in between about directions and what not. Then I get the text, "Meet me at the Holiday Inn, I'm relaxing on the big comfy bed." WHAT? There was NO mention of a hotel, at all and honestly....WHAT? Who does that? Now do I respond that way? No, I'm too nice. I think maybe I gave him the wrong impression. At this point I'm already on my way to meet Date 6. I don't think I can back out. So I figure, I'll just go for it and leave after drinks.
Since we'd already met at the aformentioned superbowl party dinner was fun. We had a lot of talk about, some things in common. Like I said he's a chivalrous romantic cutie but has to iron out some kinks. We went out for drinks, played some pool and in my weakness I agreed to come back to the hotel for just a little while.

There were lots of tender comments which are always appreciated. And lots of smooching. No heavy petting though, which is fine. Until he leans back, sighs and says, "I'm so sorry". I have NO idea what he's talking about, wondering if he got too excited too early. Then he says, "I really need to go to a doctor." And that's when I realize...it's all about performance anxiety. I've never experienced this before so I have no idea what to say. Needless to say, I left shortly after and laughed the entire car ride home.
Online dating...it's a mixed up world and I'm just on the tip of the iceberg of finding it out! More to come soon....

Life is a Cabaret

Date Five (The Posting for Date Four Has Disappeared?): Life is a Cabaret

Keeping it Casual has a Whole New Meaning

Keeping it Casual has a Whole New Meaning!

A little history

Hello Blogosphere!! I'm loading my old entries for my new fans. My newest entry will be posted today. For now, read, reread, live, relive the fast paced dating action that has taken place so far!

Hello blogosphere! I know I was given a small introduction in the Thanksgiving entry but allow me to REintroduce myself....My name is KT and I will be commandeering LBE every so often to discuss the complex world of online dating!! The original plan was 30 dates in 30 days. Then it morphed into "30 dates...finding a kiss for new years eve". Basically I had a lot of fun making up names for my imagined blog and finally my dear friend Natalie allowed me to share her space. No worries though, she runs the show. I am merely here to comment upon the one thing she can't right now...the post college single life; more specifically online dating. And there you have it, the perfect blog for writing about using online dating to set up 30 different dates: Life Belongs to the Energetic!

Date One: SUCCESS.



We met at a train stop and did the initial awkward handshake or hug which always becomes this morphed hug handshake and private space feels invaded. Ate some falalfel which meant NO KISSING for KT. Ok, I'm jumping ahead. The conversation over dinner was nice, we had a lot in common, we're both college grads, working at schools, career driven all that boring stuff. Also, we're both the oldest in our families so we kvetched about having to be responsible. He shared with me that he's a very private person so I'll have to keep personal details to a minimum. He gave me a nighttime tour of the Berekeley campus which I'd never stepped foot on before. It's a huge place with lots of large buildings it was dark so the perfect time for some discreet shoulder rubbing and hand holding. Quite a polite young man! But these interactions are ALWAYS tinged with akward-ness. Like trying to rub my shoulder that already has my gigantic purse on it. When your hand ends up tangled in my purse straps I just think you're trying to rob me. Not show your affection. And back to my previous comment don't go out for super garlicky food and expect a hot make out afterwards. But those are all manageable cons for the most part it was great conversation, good company and so.....

There will be a date 2! But I need comments people. Does two dates with the same person count towards the 30? I'll let you, the reader, decide.

Of course, I thought that my online dating blog would be chock full of ridiculous stories. And don't worry there will be more dates to come but for now I leave with an example of someone I'm not going to date:

VetLivinginthePark: i long for the taste of a woman. i long feel and hear a womans orgasm on my fingers and tongue. contact me back if your interested. hope to hear from ya soon.

On that note...let the games begin!