Some people say high school is the best time of your life. Other people say college is the best, you'll never have a better time in your life. And some believe that in your early to mid twenties that's when stuff gets really good. Lately people have been telling me that 30 is when things get awesome because you just stop caring. One thing everyone seems to agree on...middle school is not the best time. In fact, I think people could agree that middle school is the most awkward phase full of regrets and bad attitudes. Middle school relationships usually last a matter of weeks and physical contact is minimal. Until you hit about late 7th early 8th grade. That's when things get steamy. Well...middle school steamy. Hand holding, hot make out sessions, boobie groping, and my personal favorite heavy petting. But what fans is the hallmark of middle school romance. The one thing that is really only cool in middle school and is never cool again. The hickey. Even the word makes me twitch a little. Now ok, hickeys are kind of hot, in a sensual way, akin to snuggling and the erogenous zones. But what remains! What remains is what makes the hickey a frightening thing. You basically have a bruise on your neck. Since most people don't have bruises on their neck you're always totally busted for having a hickey. For at least two weeks of those middle school years having a hickey is like this grown up cool thing to have. Mostly cause it means some one actually touched you in a romantic way! Oh the thrill. As you get older the thrill fades and probably as you become more advance in the ways of romance...hickeys lose their allure and become just the second part...embarrassing.
And segue to DATE 7! because obviously this date has had me thinking about hickeys. I met up with Date 7 at my house. I've been poor lately, already had beers at my house and sheesh I didn't think he would cut me up into 1000000 pieces. In fact, fans, in my head I am totally convinced I would be able to fend off any kind of online date attacker. Realistically I know this NOT true. But, I digress...Date 7 came over after work. He was a nice guy, real dudes dude. Likes include: MMA (???), playing poker with his buds, smoking lots of weed, going to napa. We chatted it up talked about work drank a few beers and had enough in common to start smooching. Now I guess I would count it under a "hot make out sesh" there was lite-medium petting. But after a little bit of that we talked some more and called it a night. I figured all said in done Date 7 was a semi success.
The next day I'm at my job which happens to be at a middle school. I usually wear a scarf to work just to juge up my outfit and so I look more professional, or I'm secretly a man and love wearing ties. One of those. I'm standing in class and one of my students says, "Why do you wear a scarf everyday?" Feeling slightly flattered that my student even noticed what I'm wearing, I give some bullshit response about how my neck get cold easily. They don't say anything after that I assume it's just my students trying to get me off task. About an hour later I'm walking across campus and I stop to talk to one of my co-workers. We're talking about one of my specials who is failing her class when mid sentence she points to my neck and exclaims, "Katie YOU HAVE A HICKEY!" My response: "No I don't." But fans, oh yes I did. Why didn't I notice it before? I have no idea. I guess it has something to do with getting dressed in the dark every morning. Now it wasn't a bad hickey but it was still a hickey. And of course, now I knew why my students were asking about my scarf. I wore turtle necks for the rest of the week and felt like the 13-year-olds that surround me. When I emailed him to say, WHY? Why the hickey in a public place on ma body? His response: "I didn't even think I was sucking for that long."
Wow, ok, thanks date 7.--You left your mark on me, and outed me to my students.--The only thing I had to go on was the hope that my hickey would still seem cool to the middle school that lives somewhere inside. So far it isn't working....Ah well back to the dating game I go!
Fans, I will try to stick to a update every Wednesday schedule. Of course that means at least a date a week but I think spring fever has enough of a grip on me to sustain for a while. A la prochain!
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