Life is a Cabaret

Date Five (The Posting for Date Four Has Disappeared?): Life is a Cabaret

The real date five was above and the beyond the best date yet. There are some pluses to the consistent dating, I get to try new places and check out new neighborhoods. Tonight I checked out a cozy wine bar on a yucky rainy night. My date was the aforementioned circus performer. We had a date last weekend but it ended up being cancelled. Tonight was the night. I thought A LOT about backing out but the blog is sustaining me to continue my dating experiment.

By my 3rd glass of Sangria I started feeling semi-comfortable with the conversation but up to that point I just sort of felt like giggling. It's hard to keep a straight face when someone is explaining to you they attend Clown and Mime school. Yes, it's a legitimate career but it's also.....funny! So let's go back to the beginning. I made a date with Orangetail (significance to be revealed later) yesterday for Sunday night. He chose a wine bar that he heard was nice. I was 30 minutes late. I know that is poor form, and I've already decided I will never stand a date up no matter how bad my cold feet are. It's rude and the karma is bad. Plus, I'd feel so sad if someone stood me up! But, lateness that's a whole other story. And for some reason I seem to think it's cute or coy or something. So here I am, 30 minutes late. Post pep talk from the blog administrator. He's sitting at the bar, he's tall (good), has long hair (okay), wearing a bandana (does that always mean a guy is bald? It did with a yellow tooth, that is a WHOLE OTHER STORY), wearing a suit (classy), with a pin that says Actress (questionable?).

My first question: Oh you said you just finished with school for winter break. Where do you go to school? He told me he lived in Oakland/Berkeley which I thought meant he went to UCBerkeley. But no....after some hesitation he said: "I go to the flying troupe school for clowns and mimes." And from there friends, I knew it was going to be a bumpy ride.

Ok, you go to clown school. Where do you live? (This of course is my inner monologue) Turns out he lives in the radical fairy commune. It's a whole thing I can't even begin to explain in this blog especially because I don't want to make anybody's head spin around! But google it. Ask somebody. It might blow your mind! So he lives in a commune and wants to retire to another commune and raise goats. Probably not the time to mention my obsession with Jersey Shore (sick I know). I peppered him with questions about clown school with kept him talking but there were definitely moments (let's just call them LULLS) in the conversation that made it slightly awkward. I definitely told waaay too many details about myself including my current issues with my upstairs neighbors and what I consider to by my fatal flaws. This has been my first online dating observation.

ONLINE DATING OBSERVATION ONE: most people who are trying to date online have at least one fatal flaw. Like they are straight edge, or they text you inappropriate pictures, or they have married a lesbian foreigner who needed a green card. But instead of taking money for the marriage, forcing his lesbian now wife to become his clowning partner. Or maybe he admits on the date he lacks a sense of smell and therefore usually has terrible body odor. YERP! Those are all true stories.

But I digress, Orange tail had several strange flaws but we have similar taste in movies and he was (eventually) easy to talk to and had some interesting observations about the world. Definitely not grounded in reality and I'm sure I'm too realistic for him. But there may be a date 6 this week and I'm sure there will be much more to report. After about 2.5 hours of drinking sangria and chatting I began making my apologies for needing to end the date and get home because I had work in the morning. So we pay and get up to leave and some how I end up behind Date 5 and I notice a fabric orange tail peeking out from underneath his suit jacket. It was just there for a moment but it was....a....TAIL. No one had notified me this was a costume online date. I had no time to react, thank god because I would have probably fallen on the floor laughing. Maybe it's part of his clown/mime persona. I had no idea...but all I can think is if it's comfortable to sit on. He walked me to my car and gave me a good night kiss. It was romantic, but didn't ignite a spark. Still, nothing wrong with respectful boys and so date 5 was a semi-success. There might be another date but I'm afraid it's because I'm being too nice and not seeing the giant red flags for what they are. Still I have a few messages in my inbox, a few potential matches in my quiver. Now I'm just one date closer to 30!